


Feel

by FuckinPoind3xter



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst, Drabble, F/M, Hopeful Ending, Past Abuse, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-11
Updated: 2016-11-11
Packaged: 2018-08-30 08:38:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8526295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FuckinPoind3xter/pseuds/FuckinPoind3xter
Summary: She...She feels





	

**Author's Note:**

> And here I am again making a drabble for Aviator39

_Slow it down, Angie come back to bed_   
_Rest your arms, and rest your legs_   
_Don't you frown when you're feelin like that_   
_Only love can dig you out of this_

* * *

  
She tries.

She really does, but nothing ever seems good enough.

She wants so hard to be normal, it is something she has always craved, but for the love of it all she can never feel safe.

Even after all this time, she feels watched, she feels terror, she feels the aching fingers of nightmares still ebbing over her skin, digging into her bones, drawing out a monster she doesn't understand.

She's trapped, it feels like, in an infinite loop of recovery and relapse.

She aches for touch, but recoils when it's close, even if its good touch, touch she had fallen for because it was so careful and yet, so careless, so effortless, so natural like breathing.

She feels trapped in a sense, where she can't dig herself out of the hole they put her in, covered it with cement, planted a home atop it. Smiles faltered and heels bring about panic, the thought of euphoria and distant pleasure bring about the struggles, the gasping breath.

She's trapped, and yet he's patient.

He is kind.

He is everything she needed, and yet still something she fears because of those very reasons.

Its the patient stares and the silent gestures, the way his hands stroke down her arms in an effortless gesture to calm the chills that run down her spine when it gets dark, when the thoughts come back, when the memories threaten -

" _You are strong, Kelilah_ ," he murmured that night, eyes strong and filling her with pride. " _You are strong and you are powerful, do not ever let anyone tell you otherwise_."

Powerful? Her? No, no he had to be wrong, had to be lying, had to be trying to lure out her vulnerabilities and then squash her.

But he didn't, he helped her, helped her grow and bloom and dig her roots deep, wide, sturdy.

She doesn't feel trapped.

She feels free and moving, flowing, unhindered by the nightmares, the past she cannot change, the past she refuses to let squash her anymore.

She...She feels.

**Author's Note:**

> The song is Slow It Down by The Lumineers and the meaning of the song doesn't match the story but the lyrics are gold.


End file.
